April 15, 2010

January 26th, 2010 - Zen Temple, Pennsylvania

I feel peace after a long day.

This morning after meditation at an art gallery, we went to visit a man about my age in the hospital, dying of cancer. Mike.

His family was taking him off life support today. He is, as they say, survived by his parents, wife and 1 1/2 year old baby. Sensei of the Plains was awesome. She held his hand and did a guided meditation with him. Though he can't talk, he calmed down visibly when she said that he could welcome all the fear and anxiety he has, just sit with it, and welcome it as a sign of love and caring for his family, friends and life. Through welcoming it and sitting with it, he could find peace.

His big, Midwestern-feeling dad sat on the other side of him and held his other hand and cried. Sensei filled a space she knew they needed. It was beautiful.

The rest of the afternoon, I sat with my own anxiety about Haiti--about not knowing or doing enough--wishing I was more, that I was better able to help. Zen and the art of going to Haiti, to home. On CNN they say the U.S. is legislating ways to make adopting Haitian children easier.

A mixed bag, that--but here it is, a step on my path.

May I do it well, sitting with the anxiety and fear as well as a brave man I barely had the pleasure to meet.

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